“What are you thinking?” My boyfriend asked the other day, as we were lying around, recovering from the effects of the booster shot we’d just gotten. It’s a question we ask each other often. The answers range from banal to philosophical, and can shift the direction of the conversation we’re currently having.
“I’m thinking that I didn’t realize life could be so good,” I answered.
I realize, of course, that it’s not *all* good – cases are doubling again, which is very alarming. But things have totally turned around for me since the first half of the year. Longtime readers of this newsletter will know I was having a shit year; but that all started to change when I quit my job in June. Then things snowballed quickly: the week I decided to fly to LA to watch the BTS concerts was the same week Leni Robredo declared her candidacy, and I leapt at the opportunity to join Team Leni Robredo, the volunteer arm of the campaign. Since then I’ve hardly had a moment to breathe, plunging headfirst into comms work for TLR; the most meaningful (and hopefully impactful) use of my skills and talents.
The LA trip was a dream. Raissa, Bianca, and Tricia took care of all the tickets and logistics. All I had to do – all I had the mental space to do, really – was show up physically. I am so grateful for my friends. It was such an expensive undertaking, and significantly more of a hassle to travel with COVID protocols, but it was worth it. I got to see BTS on all four concert dates, with face-value tickets! I don’t know that it would have worked out so seamlessly if the concert had been in any other city. I was still working from LA, but got to take a few days’ break with the help of my boyfriend and my amazing teams. I even got to spend a couple of days with my best friend in the world, Denise. Also as a bonus, I saw Ronan Farrow and Jon Lovett at a restaurant and got to tell them that I’m a huge fan of them both!
It was such a fulfilling trip, even though suddenly being in a long-distance relationship with Francis was tough, and I was hardly sleeping so I could keep up with work. The timing of the trip worked out perfectly — that brief magical window when case counts were low in Manila, right before the Omicron variant was discovered. Sometimes I want to pinch myself and ask, “Did that trip really happen? Did I breathe the same air as BTS? Was it just my imagination?” I haven’t even had the time to watch the videos I took, much less process that I! Got to see! BTS LIVE IN CONCERT!!! FOUR TIMES!
It’s funny, really. My family enthusiastically pushed me to go to LA, encouraging me that it was a good opportunity: I had a chance to see my favorite band in the world, a few places to stay in LA, loads of cash from my last job, no new job, no boyfriend to hold me back. And what happened before I left? I got a job and a boyfriend! I did not take on this role expecting to find love, but there you have it. I met someone wonderful and I don’t want to jinx it but… I have a good feeling about this relationship. :) It’s the best one I’ve ever had. Cross your fingers for me, will you?
As for work, I started helping coordinate relief operations from my quarantine hotel and it’s been non-stop ever since. I was telling Francis the other day that it’s nice to feel proud that I belong to an excellent team; to know that other people have my back, that we’re working towards a shared goal and are aligned on how to get there. It’s also my first time leading a team (I’ve actually got 4 teams under me, which: whoa), and I’m finding that both challenging and exciting.
Those are the words I would use to sum up how I’m feeling these days: I’m challenged by and excited about what 2022 will bring. It’s going to be tough, what with the election and all, but I’m ready to fight like hell and I know I’ve got good people by my side.
I just reread last year’s entry and I talked about picking ‘hope’ as my word for 2021. Now that I think about it, I did find that hope in Leni and the promise of a better Philippines in 2022 and beyond. I’m giving the campaign everything I have, which is the best that I can do and the only thing I can control. As for the rest of my anxieties – what will I do if she doesn’t win? What will I do next? Should I start looking for a job? Should I study abroad? – I will take things one day at a time until May. For now, I’m trying to sneak pockets of rest when I can, enjoy quality time with my loved ones, and do good work.
Wishing you all a new year as happy and hopeful as mine. If you have a few minutes, I want to hear how your end-of-year is going! (or is it start-of-year even if we’re not back to work yet?)
<3,
Pinky