Volume 02 Issue 19
May 3 - 9, 2021
Something I’ve been thinking about often this week is the feeling of being included: how much it matters when you are; how much it stings when you aren’t. When we welcomed Tatsie into the ARMY barkada group chat, she said that belonging to a community is what she’d been missing as she slowly started consuming BTS content. It made me think about how fandom is not just about liking something intensely — perhaps so intensely that you claim it as part of your own identity (whatever it is) — but *being part of the fandom* is what makes it fun and meaningful. Connection with others deepens your appreciation and makes the experience more worthwhile.
I feel incredibly lucky to be part of a group chat of like-minded ARMY moots (Twitter term for “mutuals” meaning, you and the other person mutually follow each other. Yes, I learned this just recently.). The dynamic reminds me of bench culture at my university. Having a bench meant there was always a place you could park yourself if you had some free time. It meant being around friends — some close, others maybe not as close, but all tied together loosely by a sense of belongingness; that shared identity. Our ARMY group chat has inside jokes now, and topics we return to again and again. Like at my college bench, I could come in and out, not always caught up with the latest kwento as it’s happening, but trusting that someone would keep me up to date about what I missed. We’re getting to know each other and finding pockets of commonality in our preferences, personality traits, and politics. We share memes, tag each other on content related to each other’s biases, and talk about personal issues. This is proof that it’s still possible to make friends in adulthood :)
I saw a poem this week by Jess Janz on Instagram called Friendship is a Love Language:
I got us tickets to — does this dress make me — just checking in to — should I call him back or — will you come with me to — it didn’t go the way — today the man at the corner store reminded me of — yes I will be there for — can you pick up — just dropping by to — sorry to call so — tell me more about — yes I’m still here — what if I told you — remember when we — don’t be sorry, don’t ever be sorry — thank you for the — you’re the only one I — do you want to stay for — would you mind coming over to — I’m already here.
Pre-pandemic, I had a reputation for being someone who was good at friendship. I am intentional about sustaining friendships. Sending something with a quick “this made me think of you” can do wonders. But with the pandemic, a few of my friendships have gone dormant — and that’s okay. I trust that the right ones can be revived once we’re out of this nightmare. Everyone’s dealing with their own shit; It’s been a long, isolating pandemic, and there’s been too much to despair over.
My friend Trina celebrated her birthday this week, and in my birthday card to her, I thanked her for always sharing pictures of her kids, her meals, her activities throughout the day, pop culture things she wants to discuss. Friendship is a love language. Times are tough, but I’m kept afloat by friends who continue to reach out. I hope you all have people you belong to, and relationships where you feel you can park yourself when you have a few moments to rest. I hope, if and when you have the energy to, you also reach out to others.
Shop Small, Love Local
Still on my local chandler (candle-maker) agenda. My number one recommendation is Somewhere Candle Co — I’ve written about them once before, when I received one for my birthday from Jus. Somewhere Candle falls right in that sweet spot of very affordable for its size, great-smelling, AND packed beautifully. I’ve been posting about them so much on Instagram that some of my other friends have started buying, and they’ve all gushed to me privately and made repeat orders. I have been bad at remembering birthdays this pandemic so I just keep a couple of candles on-hand for emergency gifting needs. They’re restocking tonight at midnight! I’ve tried everything except the peppermint one; I don’t like peppermint (personal preference only, obvs). Tag me if you buy!
Currently...
Cooking up something with Yeye. Coming soon! Feeling excited about this.
Watching BTS Festas in chronological order. They’re basically an hour’s worth of chit-chat (a radio show, they called it, but captured on video) where they talk about their accomplishments for the year and goals they want to accomplish the following year. Sort of like a teambuilding. Watching the old videos is an emotional experience: they dream of having their own concert; of meeting artists they admire such as John Legend. This is an annual video they release on their anniversary (June 13) and I’m so excited for this year’s -- 2020 included Dynamite, virtual concert, BE album, Grammys?? So much to discuss! For anyone who wants to attempt watching all seven (2014-2020), I recommend choosing the Bangtan Subs version over the official version because Bangtan Subs adds more context on top of the literal translations. [2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 (official) | 2020 (official) ]
Finishing up the poster/art print decor in my room. I did a room reveal on my Instagram: @pinkyslinkies.
Picking out BTS OT7 pics for my Apple watch (OT7 means all 7, not just one member). I am that emoji of a face surrounded by hearts.
Feeling extremely kilig over an Instagram filter, LOLOL.
Longreads…
An oral history of Tom Holland's sensational 'Lip Sync Battle' performance -- Ashley Spencer, Insider.
For maximum impact, I recommend watching the performance again on Youtube before diving into this.
Pandemic Pantries in the Streets? You Communist! -- Glenn Diaz, The New York Times.
“‘Give what you can. Take what you need.’ How much has the government given, considering what it has taken?”
Feel free to share this newsletter, it’s open to the public. I always get excited any time people engage with me about things that I post, so please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. Unless it’s mean or mansplainy: in that case, no thank you. <3 If this is your first time reading this, you can subscribe via the button below and then the next issues will land in your inbox.
Yours from afar,
Pinky