Volume 01 Issue 17
December 14 - 20, 2020
Late one night this week, while watching a random BTS video they posted on Twitter, I realized I’ve been pressuring myself to watch all of these holiday movies, because that’s what I’ve been doing every Christmas season for the past five years. I felt so relieved when I finally acknowledged that my heart isn’t in it this year, that all I really want to do -- if I’m truly being honest with myself -- is watch BTS all day every day. I spent much of the last quarter ranking BTS content on a priority list, promising myself I’d get to the less urgent items when I found the time. Well, now I have nothing but time! I have time for the next two weeks!
It was a lesson in listening to myself and figuring out what I really want to do at this very moment. One of the signs was the “should” word showing up often in my self-dialogue: “I should watch a holiday movie today.” Who said? No one is threatening me to do this. At least half the time, these ‘should’ things are internal, just me to myself.
I will say that learning to parsing the voice in my head from what I really want is a process. Just now, I typed “I should learn to listen to myself more…” and once again, the ‘should’ word has popped out of me. I *want to* learn to listen to myself more - that’s what I really mean.
It’s a good time as any to reread The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, which planted the seed of this mindset change when I first read it two years ago. (If you haven’t met her yet, she has a Netflix special that I cried through, and I first got to know her work through two podcast episodes she did on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.) I want to read more of her work in the coming year; I was always saving it for later when I was more emotionally ready, but maybe that time won’t ever come. I wasn’t prepared for my whole worldview to change when I read The Gifts of Imperfection, but change it did, and for the better.
Shop Small, Love Local
I mentioned Happy Island a while back, but I found a brand of candles I love even more, called Sunbird Candles. Their Daybreak and Nectar candles smell sooo good, and I gave away the Sprig peppermint one to my closest friend at the office. Tempted to hoard but also eager to try a few more local candle brands once I consume my current stash - so maybe Q2 next year? Haha! Feel free to DM me your favorites!
Currently…
Watching The Happiest Season on Hulu, the one movie I was really excited to watch. My pop culture soulmate Catherine said it best: “We were rooting for Kristin Stewart to end up with Aubrey Plaza!”
Marathoning inter-connected BTS content this weekend: the Love Yourself: Speak Yourself concert video, the Break the Silence movie about this concert, and the BTS commentary of the movie. It’s so sad. When will live concerts come back? :(
Beta-listening to Isa Garcia’s new audiobook on grief, out next January. My god, I am stunned. Isa’s words always leave me stunned, but this body of work, particularly so. Isa, you make me want to be a better writer, and I feel so lucky I get to call you my friend. A few of my friends have told me they bought Isa’s “The Light Years” book because I recommended it; thank you again for trusting my taste!
Eating Aia’s tomato sauce, which I loved so much last year, she gave it to me again this year!! I will not share this with my family!
ReadingSweet on You by Carla de Guzman. A Filipino Christmas romance novel! She belongs to #romanceclass, a community of Filipino authors who write contemporary romance novels. A few times a year, I go on a book-buying binge so I can support the authors who belong to this community. I’m so happy to have found them! One of them, Tina (pen name: Ana Tejano) was the first #romanceclass author I ever tried and I’m so happy we became friends - now even closer because she’s part of my small gang of ARMY mutuals on Twitter. Sweet on You was recommended by KB, another of my ARMY mutuals.
Longreads
you are beloved and worthy of rest -- Anne Helen Petersen, Culture Study.
“My hope is no matter what you spend your days doing, you can recognize the year for what it has been: testing the absolute limits of your threshold power. It’s time to cool down, whatever that might look like, and find restoration… if you’re like me: you really just need to give yourself a fucking break. Whatever you’ve done this year in your personal or professional life, it’s enough.”
The Field of Play: Anxious and Avoidant Attachment on Dates -- Hal Shorley, Psychology Today.
I have never seen it laid out so simply like this before, with diagrams!
Mister Rogers Had a Simple Set of Rules for Talking to Children -- Maxwell King, The Atlantic.
“Fundamentally, [the distinct Fred Rogers language] anticipated the ways its listeners might misinterpret what was being said. ... Rogers was extraordinarily good at imagining where children’s minds might go.”
My Highly Unexpected Heterosexual Pandemic Zoom Wedding -- Laurie Penny, Wired.
“Romance is no more or less than the triumph of the possible over the merely probable, the stupid and beautiful and human impulse to take wild risks knowing that there’s a strong likelihood they won’t work out, on the off chance that they will.”
Modern Love: Auditioning for the Role of Boyfriend -- Amre Klimchak, The New York Times.
"When you have been strung along and ghosted by guys who play it cool, how do you handle a man who is adoring and sincere?"
"He's Radioactive": Inside Johnny Depp's Self-Made Implosion -- Tatiana Siegel, The Hollywood Reporter.
Some people on my feed are vigorously defending him and bashing Amber Heard, so without knowing the details, I had chalked it up to a he-said she-said situation. This helped put the mess in context, especially the legal stuff.
BTS really can do anything. Now it's got print magazines flying off the stands -- Kerry Flynn, CNN.
Considering how hard my friends and I have been hustling to get these magazines, this is extremely satisfying to read.
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Yours from afar,
Pinky