About an hour before turning on my OOO auto-reply last Friday, I sent thank you e-cards to colleagues whose partnership this year helped make my job easier or lifted my load in a significant way. I took the time to acknowledge how proud I was of the work we did together and commend them for a job well done. I then heard back from a few of their managers who thanked me for the kind words, and I got looped into email threads passing along the recognition to a wider audience. It was nice. Seeing them celebrated and the recognition due to them amplified felt great. To think it only ‘cost’ me some time jotting down a few sentences about how much I appreciated each person. I wish more of us carved out the time to routinely send these kinds of notes, or more broadly, to be particular and frequent in our praise and appreciation for others.
(Raissa called this out in our group chat as something she has learned to do by watching BTS, and I whole-heartedly agree: they are very generous and specific in praising and thanking each other, and I find myself following their example.)
By luck, I came across a thread last night about a friendship that bloomed between a young child struggling with quarantine and a woman in her neighborhood who pretended to be a fairy named Sapphire. Reader, I wept from the kindness, grace, and connection detailed in this story. If you only click on one link this issue make it this one and read the whole thread.
Kindness is free; and I echo Kelly Victoria (aka Sapphire the fairy): “I just ask that you try to do something special for someone today and keep the magic going.” <3 What acts of kindness have you done lately? Don’t be shy! Tell me, or better yet, tell your followers! Let’s keep the magic going.
Shop Small, Love Local
Can’t believe it’s taken 16 weeks for me to write about Rags2Riches. How do I love thee, let me count the ways… I’ve been an R2R mega-fan since they began 13 years ago. I’ve attended weaving workshops, chased after limited edition bags, bought multiples of the same style in the different colorways, went to bazaars they’d be at just to check out the new styles being launched. I brought bags as gifts when traveling to visit family and friends abroad. Almost all weddings I’ve attended, the bag on my arm was R2R. Their mini-backpack is a travel staple. I hoarded facemasks when they launched them early in this pandemic, and hoarded the pillows when they came out too.
R2R was one of my earliest examples of how much good a social enterprise could do. I get so excited whenever they post about their achievements, such as the launch of their North American online shop and their partnership with IKEA Philippines. Through their marketplace Things that Matter, I’ve found a few more companies that are like them - focused on sustainability and community empowerment.
I feel lucky to call Reese and Audrey my friends, and flattered that they consider me one of R2R’s top advocates. (My Instagram is private; my platform isn’t that big… but thank you to all my friends who have tagged me in their purchases! It really does feel nice to know you trust my recommendations.)
Currently…
Listening to Taylor Swift’s second quarantine surprise album (!) evermore. I had to work up the emotional readiness to listen to it, so I only listened today while in the car. Giving it a couple more passes before I pick my favorite tracks. Both BTS and Tay have been so productive this year!! Busog na busog kaming fans.
Drinking Proudly Promdi’s “mestiza” bottled cocktail. Ang sarap! Liza gave me the Promdi Pack as a Christmas gift and it’s my first time to try this brand. I saw Proudly Promdi tagged at weddings that my friends attended in the past; sipping this made me wish it were safe for big weddings again.
Getting started on my holiday movie watch list. What have you seen? Send me recommendations; I don’t want to waste time with duds! I’m off to a good start with Dash & Lily on Netflix. I like it a lot so far.
Painting my nails with silver sparkles to get into the holiday mood. I don’t know why I procrastinate on painting them when seeing them bare makes me sad. I learned my lesson from the MAMA awards show last weekend and used the TMA awards show this weekend to paint them. Mood lifted. Yes, I watched another 5-hour Korean music awards show I didn’t understand much of! Anything for BTS.
Feeling calm and steady on a no good, very bad day this past week, all thanks to BTS. It is remarkable how not-agitated I was, and that’s 100% because I was scrolling through ARMY Twitter. Ibang klase talaga ang impact ng BTS on my mental health. 10/10 would recommend!
Longreads
How Do We Find Joy Again? — Meena Harris, Marie Claire.
Meena Harris is one of the women I most admire right now, and I’ve bought so many things from her Phenomenal shop. I cried reading this: “I don’t have the perfect formula for reckoning with it all, for staying hopeful but not insensitive, solemn but not despondent. But I do know that we have to be kind to ourselves.”
Our Shared Unsharing — Stella Bugbee, The Cut.
I don’t think I’ve reached the same conclusions -- I started a newsletter this year, so I’m not necessarily becoming more withdrawn online… but I will say that I am much more hesitant to post something that I fear could across as tone-deaf.
FKA twigs Sues Shia LaBeouf, Citing ‘Relentless’ Abusive Relationship — Katie Benner and Melena Ryzik, The New York Times.
We’ve already seen from Rihanna and C*r*s B*o**n that domestic violence and abuse aren’t enough to end a man’s career, something I am angry about every time I see him nominated for another award. Still, FKA twigs risked a lot to come out with this story, and it deserves to be heard. “I don’t think people would ever think that it would happen to me. But I think that’s the thing. It can happen to anybody.”
Feel free to share this newsletter, it’s open to the public. I always get excited any time people engage with me about things that I post, so please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. Unless it’s mean or mansplainy: in that case, no thank you. <3 If this is your first time reading this, you can subscribe via the button below and then the next issues will land in your inbox.
Yours from afar,
Pinky
1. Awesome job with the personal thank yous. Writing this down here as a commitment device: I will do that this year too.
2. I would have thought you'd have started your christmas movie binge by now :)
-Jid