Volume 01 Issue 06
September 28 - October 4, 2020
Baby ARMY⁷
Sometimes I marvel at how much my mindset has changed these past few weeks thanks to BTS — seriously! — because every day, I am happy. I am not consumed with depression and despair over the state of the country/world; anxiety over the upcoming US elections or potential disasters that may befall my friends and family. I still feel all those emotions, I’m just not crippled by them. I consider myself a political news junkie and used to enjoy staying plugged into daily news but something broke in me this year. It was just too much.
I recognize this is a privilege in itself, that I’m able to tune out like this. I didn’t watch the debate nor scroll my regular Twitter feed. Instead, I spent the week on my ARMY Twitter account, which was great for mental health; 10/10 would do again. Thoughts and prayers for anyone trying to get through 2020 without BTS, because ARMY Twitter is the party I never want to leave. It’s all joy, all the time.
With their takeover of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon this week, every morning (Manila time) was a celebration. John Cena did a wonderful job articulating what makes BTS worth stanning. My favorite was their performance of IDOL at Gyeongbok Palace - it is just so, so major that these boys performed in modern hanboks at one of the historically significant and top tourist destinations in Seoul, with such an unapologetically Korean song! Kings of cultural ambassadorship! Also Jungkook’s manbun and exposed chest... WHEWWWW. I may have watched this ten times in one day.
The Black Swan performance was also gorgeous. The set! The dancing! Jungkook’s manbun again! With bonus sheer shirt! I wish all their performances had subtitles because it’s even more powerful when you know what they’re singing about. I want to quote Lenika Cruz of The Atlantic in her (very long, but WORTH YOUR TIME) post reviewing each song on Map of the Soul: 7:
I’ve commented before on how impressive I think it is that “Black Swan,” to the casual, non-Korean-speaking listener, sounds like a gleaming-black, emo-rap-infused pop groove with its “nah nah nah”s and “yeah yeah yeahs.” But as soon as you read the lyrics (YES, THE LYRICS MATTER!), “Black Swan” is crushing. It’s a dirge dressed up as a dance track. The song is a eulogy for the love of one’s craft — imagine a dancer whose body moves out of habit rather than ecstasy. The audience might not realize it, seeing only beautiful movement and utter control, but the dancer feels that creeping rot in every vein. The lyrics, pulsing with a sense of depletion and exhaustion, read at times like a horror story: There are violent waves, a monster grabbing at one’s ankle, soundless screams, dreams of drowning.
When you read the lyrics of Black Swan, you realize they’re singing about their fear as artists that they will someday lose their passion for music, and the song revolves around a quote from dancer Martha Graham: “A dancer dies twice — once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.” The performance for the Tonight Show was set in an abandoned, overgrown cathedral, with the members dressed in all black. They move in perfect unison; Jimin skimming the surface of the concrete lake as their mourning attire literally makes them seem like black swans. It’s similar to the music video which they performed barefoot in an empty theater. So good, so beautiful, so haunting, so layered with meaning.
I could go on for much longer about how much joy BTS week brought me but I will leave you with this article: “BTS's "Tonight Show" Takeover Was A Guide To Why They're So Beloved” by Ellie Bate of Buzzfeed:
"What began with a performance of the group's...arguably most English-friendly song became a weeklong celebration of their craft, their raw talent, and their artistry, as well as their connections with each other and with their fans."
Resources and content I enjoyed this week:
Chuseok (like a Korean equivalent of American Thanksgiving) was also this week and BTS dropped so much content on their YouTube channel that it was hard to keep up. What I love about their content strategy and focus on fan connection is that they put just as much work into showing what’s going on behind the scenes, leading the viewer to a deeper appreciation for that music video/performance/etc. You also develop personal ‘relationships’ with each of the members as you get to know their personalities and their ‘real’ selves. Of course, still putting these into quotation marks, since everything online is arguably a performance, but they seem so humble and accessible and that’s really at least half the charm. They are such good boys.
I’ve been listening to Map of the Soul:7 while working and two songs particularly stand out to me: Friends and Zero O’Clock. I already wrote about Taehyung and Jimin’s friendship last week and linked to this fan-made video set to Friends, and the same creator made another excellent video for Zero O'Clock that also makes me feel emotional, especially after reading the lyrics. They’re singing about feeling depressed and regretting the day; holding 00:00 as a moment to exhale, a reset button to try again for a happier day tomorrow. Once again, Lenika Cruz’s review is worth your time. So is this reaction video from psychiatrists who talk about how important it is that the boys are singing about mental health and acknowledging difficult emotions. OK, I’m crying again!
I have had many conversations about Yoongi this week (stage name: SUGA; rapper name: Agust D) but the one that made me laugh the most is when Ella told me that 90% of her friends have Yoongi as either their bias or bias breaker. NINETY PERCENT! Gotta say, I went on the same journey: obsessed with V, with Jungkook close behind, but then suddenly, I was feeling a certain type of way towards Yoongi the more content I watched. Rica and I call him Grumpy Cat but he is secretly so soft and so considerate towards the other members. I already linked to this last week but this video of him and Taehyung — especially the clip that starts 7:29, when Tae won’t leave his office until Yoongi says I love you back — kills me. This other video of Yoongi being “savage” (this term makes me feel old) makes him seem like a bitch, but it’s okay because ARMY knows Yoongi’s real love language is acts of service for the other members. And lastly, I really enjoyed this video explaining the historical references in Agust D’s Daechwita video. Our boy is a *genius* genius!
My bb boi Jungkook singing “You don’t give two fucks” in the Savage Love remix has me playing it 20 times a day. Add in the fact that they made it gender-neutral and that in the rap portion SUGA reflects on love being a collapsing sandcastle and j-hope still thinks love is still worth trying despite his doubts, and you’ve got a stan in me. I also found a great thread by the designer who worked on the typography for the lyric video. I adore things like this! Lainey points out what a flex it is that they made an already hit song into an even bigger hit, especially since Jason Derulo used Jawsh 685’s beat without permission at first (not cool) … I only wish they could make a version that’s just BTS and Jawsh 685; “South Auckland to South Korea” is a great article about why this collaboration means so much to the Polynesian community.
I enjoyed this article about the Twitter account @Bangtan_Style07, which is so quick to identify what clothes the members are wearing. I follow style accounts like this for Meghan and Kate, too. So fun to see how adventurous the boys are in fashion choices. Ishy posed a question in our group chat this week: Pandemic aside, would this have been the year they’d have been invited to the Met Gala? My guess is yes.
I’m learning a lot from journalists who are also ARMY. Because of the mess of the Variety roll out, there is some discussion going on now on the merits of tapping an “impartial” writer vs. one who is a fan; my take is that partiality won’t detract from the value of the piece but rather enhance it. This article, “How BTS are Breaking K-pop’s Biggest Taboos” by Jae Ha Kim, initially published in Rolling Stone, is a good example of how being a fan of something doesn’t diminish journalistic integrity or quality.
On the Titas of BTS Facebook group, my new friend Ashley kindly shared her public Google calendar for BTS engagements. So convenient that it syncs to our local time, so now I check it to see what new content might be incoming. The link will work on desktop; if you’re on mobile, you need to DM her so she can grant access.
I did not understand why ARMY Twitter was clamoring for Dionysus and We Are Bulletproof part 2 to be performed on the Tonight Show, but after watching those links, I absolutely get it now. Hot as hell.
Thanks to my friends who have let me know this section has been really helpful for them on their own baby ARMY journeys. I found a way to archive all the BTS stuff together so that it’s a single shareable link. Feel free to share the BTS joy using that link; may our joy (and baby ARMY) multiply.
Shop Small, Love Local
I discovered a local jewelry brand, Lily Jewelry, around this time last year when a friend sent me the ad, saying the model was my doppelganger. Since then, I have bought so many pairs of earrings. Before this brand, I didn’t even wear earrings much! Trish also and I got matching fan necklaces which I wore every day in the Before times. Stella, the owner, has such an eye for elegant design and provides excellent customer service. I’ve been wanting to try the danglers for a while now; you can mix and match the earrings and the gold chain danglers are soooo cute. I just haven’t had many occasions to wear earrings. Since the pandemic, Lily Jewelry has shifted to a pre-order model and the new collection is inspired by santan flowers! I ordered a white santan bracelet and necklace, and Mau surprised me today by sending me the red santan earrings and a necklace from a previous collection. This new collection is only accepting pre-orders until next Sunday, October 11 so check it out ASAP. Now, if only I had something to dress up for...
Currently…
Working on the body image issues that have plagued me all my life. A few months ago, I unfollowed a bunch of skinny influencers who stirred up toxic thoughts in my head, and instead followed women who are vocal about being body positive / who belong to the self-love movement on Instagram. Sharing a few accounts that resonated with me the most: @thebirdspapaya, @maryscupofteaa, @alexlight_ldn, @amandalekland, @thebaileyp, @miakang, @ownitbabe, @denisemmercedes, @kristinazias. It honestly helps to “unlearn” the script inside your head about not being ____ enough (whatever it may be). Like, did you know that there are different butt types? That there are square butts and A butts and V butts and just because my butt doesn’t look like her butt, it’s not necessarily bad or something to beat myself up over. Comparison is the thief of joy; buy the shorts that fit your body now; etc. It really takes effort to resist the way social media and traditional media condition us to think. I wish there were more posts of normal bodies on Instagram. If you know of any local accounts like this, please share!
Watching the Ben & Ben live concert for the benefit of students and teachers. I was supposed to watch them live for the first time this year but the pandemic happened :( They were the last band I got into before BTS.
Wearing this migraine hat Raissa bought for me and sent via LBC. It’s made of stretchy material, with gel packs already sewn in, and by god, IT WORKS. Medyo may pagka-ube poop emoji look but who cares, it feels great.
Eating LZM bangus and bulalo!! Not going to Tagaytay anytime soon, so this reseller was a much welcome discovery.
Throwing away a box of old palancas I found while decluttering my room this weekend. I didn’t even read the letters. Not because I don’t care about the writers (many of them are still good friends!) but because I cringe at the version of me they describe. I feel like I’ve gone through at least five different versions of myself since senior year.
Longreads
Some people are getting hotter during the pandemic. How dare they. — Maura Judkis, The Washington Post.
“The idea of getting hot during quarantine raises practical questions, but also philosophical ones. If a person gets hot during quarantine and no one’s around to see it, are they actually hot? Or does it create Schrödinger’s Thirst Trap, where a person is simultaneously Hot and Not?”
How to Ask if Everything Is OK When It’s Clearly Not — Anna Goldgarb, The New York Times.
“While we may not be able to be physically present when we approach a troubled friend, we can create an atmosphere — and cultivate the right mind-set within ourselves — so the other person will feel comfortable opening up when they need support most.”
How the Show ‘Alone’ Sparked a Solo Trip and a Tough Realization — Isaac Fitzgerald, The New York Times.
I have been a fan of Isaac’s writing for a long time. I felt a secondhand sort of grief for the end of his relationship.
Here's Why Grieving Parents are Coming Together Online to Defend Chrissy Teigen's Pregnancy Loss Photos — Olivia Harvey, Hello Giggles.
I am ride or die for Chrissy Teigen. What she and John are doing by sharing their pregnancy loss story is incredibly generous and brave and I wish the QAnon people who think they’re child traffickers would fall into a hundred year sleep.
Until next week! Feel free to share this newsletter, it’s open to the public. I always get excited any time people engage with me about things that I post, so please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. Unless it’s mean or mansplainy: in that case, no thank you. <3 If this is your first time reading this, you can subscribe via the button below and then the next issues will land in your inbox.
Yours from afar,
Pinky