Volume 01 Issue 02
August 31 - September 6, 2020
It’s been an emotionally gruelling week. On top of getting fatshamed, some old relationship grief resurfaced unexpectedly and I ran to a group of friends – we call ourselves The Love Club – to unload and process my feelings. As usual, Isa had the perfect soothing words: “It’s so hard to be human, there are so many nuanced feelings and truly, parting ways or ending a relationship doesn’t mean that the entanglements and all the meaning we put into it goes away! I’m glad you are letting yourself feel and be human because in many ways, those tiny little cuts are proof of love, of missing, of longing – and there are beautiful things about those things too. Feelings can suck but that you allow yourself to go through the motions just means you are making room for those feelings to flow and ebb and change along the way.”
Our other friend Aia’s response to that: “Hay nako. Ok Isa, you’re a writer, WE GET IT.” LOL.
It’s so much harder to make friends post-college, so I’m extra happy to have found friends who feel as deeply as I do and are willing to sit in vulnerability with me. I’m really looking forward to Isa’s new book (now open for preorders) which will somehow be exactly what I need to hear at that moment. She’s magic like that. Aia, who worked on graphic and website design for Isa’s book, is equally amazing – her graduation speech video is sweet/ funny/ visually pleasing/ inspirational/ worth checking out even if you don’t know her at all! It will honestly add value to your life! Check out her thesis on making beautiful and functional PWD cards, featured in the Philippine Star! I’m so thankful to have The Love Club in my corner, and for the opportunity to be their cheerleader.
Shop Small, Love Local
My friend Lorra is celebrating her birthday this month by doing another round of #HonoringHeroes portrait commissions. She’s donating the proceeds to two orgs, one of which is AHA! Learning Center. In Lorra’s words: “AHA! is currently helping public schools deal with the pandemic through the launch of a text-based Facebook School for public school kids, training and support for public school teachers, and a teleradyo that offers six hours of learning per week. AHA! also has free after-school programs to help address education inequity.” AHA! was founded by Jaton Zulueta, whom I know from college. Jaton is one of the Obama Foundation’s leaders for Asia Pacific 2019 and a TOYM honoree. Every time I get depressed about the state of things, Jaton’s posts about the work AHA! is doing lift me back up and inject hope directly in my veins. Here’s AHA’s recent update about how they’ve helped since the start of lockdown.
When Lorra first ran #HonoringHeroes in April, I caved and got one of myself. I had always wanted to get a portrait done, but talked myself out of getting one every time because it seemed so frivolous. I also got a custom couple portrait for my cousin and his long-distance girlfriend who is a nurse. Things suck right now! Buy those frivolous things and feel some joy! Or get a portrait as a gift for others and spread the joy! Please do consider supporting AHA! Learning Center through Lorra’s fundraiser, which is open until the end of the month.
Currently…
Falling down a BTS-shaped rabbit hole. The obsession started this week under my friend Ishy’s tutelage, but Christine and Des (friends from a different circle) set up a group chat with me and a fourth friend Lilia, where we now talk about BTS and send each other clips all day long. Richelle (another friend from a third circle), just sent me a breakdown of the different kinds of video content available for consumption. Ang dami! I’m excited!! LOL. If you’re a fan, share your favorites with me please! I’m playing the Dynamite rehearsal video on loop in between other BTS videos -- It’s mesmerizing and Taehyung (stage name “V”) is stupid hot in it. Christine said “Think of BTS as self-care” and she’s right! I had migraines all week but still felt lighthearted this weekend because of BTS. I also spent the past few days backreading my number one gossip columnist Lainey’s catalog of BTS posts. I had underestimated how big BTS is -- they’re responsible for a % of South Korean GDP! -- bigger even than some of the Western chart-toppers we’re familiar with; Lainey always teaches me to think critically about entertainment (like this analysis of Dynamite), especially about what gets covered in Western media and how, what doesn’t get covered and why that could be so. Lainey calls out how subversive it is that BTS is the antithesis of toxic masculinity. They talk about their insecurities and worries, preach self-love, wear makeup and color their hair, make adventurous fashion choices, are affectionate and tactile with each other, and cry openly. I love an emotional man, what more seven of them?! My bias is V, but honestly, they’re all attractive and charming and have their own appeal - walang tapon - and there’s something special about their chemistry as a group too. The Carpool Karaoke episode is a good starting point, and please message me if you are curious and want more, I will forward you the guides my friends have sent me. Hihihi.
Longreads
Is resilience overrated? – Jami Attenberg, New York Times.
“‘You’re so resilient’ is just code for ‘You’re on your own, sorry.’”
‘Black Panther’ Director Ryan Coogler On Chadwick Boseman: ‘Because He Was A Caretaker, A Leader, And A Man Of Faith, Dignity And Pride, He Shielded His Collaborators From His Suffering” – Mike Fleming Jr., Deadline.
On top of his personal grief for the loss of his friend and collaborator, Ryan Coogler has to grieve for the work they had already put into Black Panther 2. It’s all so devastating. I look forward to seeing the direction they take the story in.
Bolu Babalola on the transformative power of seeing black women love and be loved – Kemi Alemoru, Gal-Dem Magazine.
Bolu is one of my favorite Twitter follows. Her book is already out in the UK (Sunday Times bestseller!) and it comes out in the US in April. She’s the girl who went viral after photoshopping herself with Michael B Jordan... and then actually met him!
A Supercomputer Analyzed Covid-19 — and an Interesting New Theory Has Emerged – Thomas Smith, Elemental on Medium.
"Covid-19 stands out for both the scale of its global impact and the apparent randomness of its many symptoms. Physicians have struggled to understand the disease and come up with a unified theory for how it works. Though as of yet unproven, the bradykinin hypothesis provides such a theory. And like all good hypotheses, it also provides specific, testable predictions — in this case, actual drugs that could provide relief to real patients." Per my Facebook comments, there’s a similar story in Forbes, and the Invisible Allies podcast talks about Vitamin D in the same context. It wouldn’t hurt to take Vitamin D, is what I’m thinking.
Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted — It’s Why You Feel Awful – Tara Haelle, Elemental on Medium.
“How do you adjust to an ever-changing situation where the ‘new normal’ is indefinite uncertainty?”
Meet the “menu engineers” helping restaurants retool during the pandemic – Michael Waters, The Hustle.
Insight into why menus are designed the way they are, and how menu design could be pivoting in the age of take-out and delivery. This reminds me of a book I really enjoyed reading when I was younger: Call of the Mall: The Geography of Shopping by Paco Underhill.
On Witness and Respair: A Personal Tragedy Followed by Pandemic – Jesmyn Ward, Vanity Fair.
A powerhouse of an essay on her grief from the loss of her husband at the start of the pandemic.
The Very First Emails Alex and I Sent to Each Other (We Were Nervous!) – Joanna Goddard, A Cup of Jo.
I love “how we met” stories. And I’m a huge geek for annotations!
We’re All Socially Awkward Now – Kate Murphy, New York Times.
“Social interplay is one of the most complicated things we ask our brains to do. In normal circumstances, we get a lot of practice, so it becomes somewhat seamless. You don’t think about it. But when you have fewer opportunities to practice, you get off your game. The surreal and clunky quality of virtual or masked interactions just makes matters worse.”
A Stranger Helped My Family at Our Darkest Moment – Rachel Martin, The Atlantic.
“I miss strangers. I long for connections with people I do not know. We are so separate now. ... if we stop being able to connect with those we don’t know, if we stop being able to see ourselves in them, our empathy starts to atrophy. And then where are we as people? As a society? What are we left with?”
Until next week! Feel free to share this newsletter, it’s open to the public. I always get excited any time people engage with me about things that I post, so please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. Unless it’s mean or mansplainy: in that case, no thank you. <3 If this is your first time reading this, you can subscribe via the button below and then the next issues will land in your inbox.
Yours from afar,
Pinky