Hi :)
It’s 10:30 p.m. on January 1, and I’ve been thinking about writing this newsletter for the past couple of days.
I started this newsletter during the early days of the pandemic (August 2020), and it was my lifeline when trying to process the anger and collective grief of those times. Then the campaign happened, and I was completely consumed by the highs and lows of that experience. After that, it was a low point, lots of uncertainty and anxiety, which is where I was coming from when I wrote last year’s New Year letter.
I’ve spent majority of this year offline, a bit closed off, not exposing my raw fleshy parts to the public. Some of that was in response to a devastating friend breakup early in the year. Some of my silence was also coming from a place of feeling irrelevant and empty: I didn’t want to be connected to the world; I wasn’t spending my time reading articles; I was not interested in reflecting on the pain I was experiencing week on week, so what was there to write about?
I turned inwards. I read. I worked. I kept my head down. I stayed quiet. And somehow, with the steady support of my now-fiancé (how weiiiirdddd to say that – me, with a fiancé??), family, BTS, and some friend groups, I managed to make peace with the cards I was dealt and figure out how to endure, and eventually, bloom where I was planted.
I’m proud of myself for the choices I’ve made this year related to work. 2023 was the year I started to settle into my freelancer/consulting life, so much so that if you ask me right now, I’m not interested in going back to corporate. I have a much better handle on managing workload, and picking the projects that I want to lean into because I’d be great at them and I can learn along the way. There are exciting projects in 2024 that I hope set us on a good path. It’s the first year that I felt the thrill of opportunity to design my life and my days exactly as I want them. It feels good.
And so, dear reader, at this soft and quiet start of the year, I wish the same for you: may you also find what thrills you and brings you peace in 2024, despite whatever trouble crosses your path.
This year, I am grateful for:
Where my feet have taken me:
Some familiar: Boracay, Tagaytay, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Baguio, Pampanga.
Some new: Cagayan de Oro, La Union
Forward, always forward
With my bestie Den in La Union. Think it’s the first time we’ve been to the beach together…?
What my ears have heard:
Agust D in Jakarta: so so grateful for this experience! And to share it with so many of my friends!
Drama Queens podcast: a constant fave for me. It has been so fun to rewatch One Tree Hill alongside the three leading ladies. Here’s the pilot if you’re curious!
Glucose Goddess’ book Glucose Revolution: It changed how I eat and I’m following this method to resolve some health problems that came up this year. Looking forward to seeing this impact in 2024.
BTS’ solo music: what an inspiration they are, to set off on their Chapter 2. They teach me every day about trust and faith in the strength of the bonds we have with each other.
Everyday conversations with Kuatro and Clara, who I love talking to daily.
“Somebody does love… but I’m thinking about Min Yoongi!” What a gift he gave to ARMY in 2023. Thank you for the months of content before you all enlisted for the military. Be safe and see you next year (!)
What my eyes have seen:
Books: I ended up reading a total of 59 books this year. I usually land somewhere between 30 and 40 so this was a pleasant surprise! Some favorites were “Spare” by Prince Harry, “The Woman in Me” by Britney Spears, “The Spy and the Traitor: The Greatest Espionage Story of the Cold War” by Ben Macintyre, and “You with a View” by Jessica Joyce.
Notable movies: My friends and I leaned hard into the Barbieheimer of it all in July. Francis recently made me watch all 4 Godzilla movies to prepare for Monarch, a show on Apple TV (we love it!) We also binged the last half of the Harry Potter movies, the original Star Wars trilogy, and some of the classic films of our childhoods: Hocus Pocus, Sister Act 1 and 2 (mine) and the Martian (his).
Underrated TV gems: Deadloch (Prime Video) and Bad Sisters (Apple TV) are two of my top-rated TV shows this year. Apple TV has a lot of good shows that don’t get marketed well: Hijack, Surface, and The Last Thing He Told Me are a few that I enjoyed. I spent way too much time and headspace on The Summer I Turned Pretty (Prime Video). Currently, we are loving the Percy Jackson reboot on Disney+.
Hamilton in Manila!
Just another random coincidence between me and Aia… we ended up booking on the same day, October 5, on the same criteria: a weekday, a good chunk of time after opening weekend para hindi na masyadong maraming tao!
My belly:
For being a home to delicious food, mostly prepared by Francis
For producing deep laughs at night before we sleep
For being the soft part I can rest my hands on whenever I need comfort, even though it is the body part I am most insecure about
He invested in a barrel griller smoker thing… so far he has treated us to brisket, ribs, and steak in the past month.
My heart:
For being resilient despite pain
For staying open to new relationships
For growing to accommodate more people to care about
For continuing to invest in long-term relationships with friends and family
Bringing together some of my best girl friends at Wanderland. I have been friends with each of these people for almost 2 decades.
The words my mouth has spoken:
Words of encouragement to friends who have been struggling
Gratitude practice to ground our healing journeys
Words of safety, comfort, and appreciation to our Down to Feel writing therapy workshop attendees
(And I am also grateful for the words I didn’t say, and that I chose to let go of that anger)
This is from Down to Feel: Heartbreak Edition (Taylor’s version) — a fun experiment between me, Isa, and Chris
The work of my hands:
I realized that I am most fulfilled when I create opportunities for other people. Nothing makes me happier than bringing people together and making magic in that new joining of minds.
All these years I’ve thought of my skillset as only in a certain lane; but most of this year has been about working in spaces outside of comms, only to bring me back to comms and systems in the last few months
Most importantly: I am having fun while working again.
My most important role: stage jowa :)
To my body: we dealt with a lot of issues this year. In 2024, I promise to appreciate you more and take better care of you. Thank you for everything you allow me to do.
Missed you this year!
Good to have you back Bella! :)
"may you also find what thrills you and brings you peace in 2024, despite whatever trouble crosses your path." What a beautiful blessing for the coming year. Happy new year, Pinky! Hope to cross paths with you again sometime soon :)